I've written a book

...and a plot summary and a covering letter. It's in a big brown envelope and is about to go into the post. The final title:

Belinda: Never Too Old

Wish it luck.

Odin

Two summers ago a litter of cats was birthed in the tin shed in the garden next door. Strays. I considered briefly doing something about them, but not sure what that something was, I did nothing except leave out some water when the weather got really hot.
Then, last spring, we had new people next door, come in to refurbish the place and sell it. The cats were fully grown, and suddenly seemed to be hanging around much more. There were eight that I could see. I've always got on well with cats, so didn't mind that they had taken up residence on and under porches, in the sheltered places around the house.
I learned, just as the house next door was going on the market, that they had been feeding the cats. The woman concerned had been trying to just feed the one cat - the one with the milky eye, the one who couldn't hunt well. The one living under our holly bushes. The thing was, she had no idea how much one small cat ate, and so had been putting out enough food for all of them.
A month ago the people next door departed, and most of the cats went too, although a couple stayed in the ally to scrounge from bins. The cat with the milky eye seemed to be gone.
Then the ice storm came. It was bad. The cat with the milky eye holed up under the back porch. Tim gave it tuna after some discussion regarding the wisdom of feeding wild animals.
It took up residence on the back porch. I gave it some more milk and tuna one day when it looked particularly hungry (yeah, okay, you can read cute for hungry). Then today it was bold enough to sit on the porch all day. It only ran away when one of us was out there, and even then it didn't run far.
I gave it a box with a blanket. It has it's own dish. Tim named it Odin. It's hanging from the back door looking in at the window as I write.
I think we've been adopted.

Triumphs and Annoyances

Jessica is in the shop again. I only just had a new master cylinder put in and she started making a peculiar noise - I think the fault lies with the fan belt, wherever it is, it looks like I'll be car-less for WUTA tonight.

On the bright side, I now have all the Christmas shopping done and posted. I may get a couple of little things to add to Teabringer's pile, but I'm essentially finished. Next week I'll do the decorations, once the cleaning is done. I'm feeling festive and the snow is very cheering, if a little lethal.

The writing is going well; I have another publication out (I think this week) in Kinships Magazine. It's Black Dust, for those who know it, which is well omened given that the novel length concept is going out at the end of the month. The Artist and I are working on Black's Magic as a comic. It's going fantastically well and both of us are very excited and working hard on it. I think we may spend a week working on it in January. The Artist also came up with a wonderful origami card for advertising, and I've worked out the art so it works upside-down and back-to-front.

This weekend is the concert at the Library. I'm due to tell a story there and need to finish it up and make it sound pretty, maybe do a dry run for Bertie and Lillian, so that I know what I'm doing. The story will be a weird puff-the-magic dragon/Celtic mythology cross. Perhaps I'll take it to WUTA tonight.

Plan for December: Finish Belinda. Market everything that is currently incomplete/waiting to be sent out again. Clean and decorate for Christmas. Complete the script for the first issue of Black's Magic.

Finger's crossed.

A Long-Overdue Post

So I haven't posted for a while. But after a spectacular day with Anarkey and her family yesterday, I thought I would follow her good example and try to post more.

Thanksgiving was lovely - great food, wonderful company and games. Just perfect. To crown the day I got an acceptance on a short story as well. It's based on the concept Belinda is based on, and Belinda is what I'm trying to finish for the start of next month. It's close, really close (about 40 pages left to write) and I have somewhere to send it. The deadline is what's making me write and having a book done by the end of the year and sent would be wonderful. I'm also going to try an clear the marketing, so I have nothing sitting waiting for an edit in January. If I'm successful in this, I may even meet the submitting one thing a week challenge from the beginning of last year.

Game is also some fun at the moment. Sophia is back - with all that entails, and it looks like the praxis wheel has finally left St Louis, so I can dip my toe in other politics.

In other news, I joined the Catholic Latin mass choir, because I missed singing in Latin. The choirmaster is in the Welsh choir. I love the music, and the people are pleasant, but I'm very worried about the more crazy end of the church. I almost left twice over the second amendment, but reasoned that I can probably discuss it better with those with opposing views now I know what they are being told from the pulpit. I'll be singing a little solo stuff for midnight mass.

Teaching is going very, very well. I'm coming away from Monday lessons feeling I can make a difference. I wish people would spend more time giving one another confidence rather than taking it away. Self-belief is so easy to lose.

Winter is coming. This makes me happy.

Talk like a Pirate Day

...is tomorrow landlubbers

Disasters and how people make them better

We are here. We are safe, we are well. The recent storms seemed to knock out a good deal of U. City but our little house only lost power for a few moments. I was in South County and after spending some time clearing and checking to see if roads were opened, I made it home after the first storm. People were panicing even on that first night; filling gas stations and grocery stores which didn't have the power to cope. I went to sleep, imagining that everything would be fine by the next day.

Everything was not fine. People were still without power, the heat was scorching and, to a couple, deadly. We called around a little to offer our spare, air conditioned space. A family from Tim's lab came to us. A few others said they would brave it out, moving downstairs or into basements to sleep.

Yesterday things seemed to be looking up. Much of the city was back on again, or looking like it would be soon. Then we had another storm rip through. More power out, I noticed that our roof shingles didn't look as sturdy as they ought. I was still supposed to be working on a couple of mall jobs.

When the weather calmed I headed out to the Mills mall to find it dark, yet the doors were open and some people were wandering deserted corridors under butterflies and flowers left in the darkness. Some enterprising coffeee shops were still open. I headed to the Gallaria. It was swarming with people, too busy for comfort. I did the job I needed to do with Viderick's assistance and we ran over to Clayton for coffee. I needed one more thing before Carbondale, a single business card from an optician on a side street. While turning onto the side street (I was stopped, indicating and otherwise behaving as a good motorist should) a white transit van drove up my trunk.

Viderick was hurt, I was shaken. Despite my best hopes I think my car is now dead. There is no trunk left, the crumple went right up to the rear windshield. I can see the fuel tank. It took more than two hours for the police to deal with their stuff and the tow truck to arrive. It was six o'clock before I was home and could tell Teabringer. Viderick and I went out drinking...there was little else for it. I owe him more thanks than I can give for staying with me and holding my hand throughout (even through dealing with insurance companies-above and beyond) and cheering me with thoughts of a new car when I looked unsteady. I think we were very lucky it wasn't worse.

So tonight there will be a party and we will celebrate how good it is to be alive, and with good freinds.

Lets hope all the power is back on again soon.

Maybe I should try something new...

Which OS are You?

I have no clue how I would operate it 'though.

I like this one much better, but it's probably my ego talking...


Which File Extension are You?

Adult Education

Saturday was teacher training day at the Y for those of use volunteering to teach adult literacy. They started in the middle of the night (8.45 am), but as I managed to get to sleep before 2.00am the night before it wasn't too painful. We covered a lot of material in six hours, including some fascinating information regarding the difference between teaching adults and children, and the reasons why adults who have never read in the past come to the classes.

Here are some of the facts/stats that we were given:

General

- 90 million (nearly half) American Adults have limited basic reading and writing skills.

- 17% of Missourians score in the lowest five levels of literacy.

- 950,000 Missourians age 16 and older (28%) do not have a high school diploma.

- Children of parents who drop out of school are six times more likely to drop out than children of parents who finished school.

- Children's literacy levels are strongly linked to the educational levels of thier parents, especially their mothers.


St Louis City (pop age 16+: 306,308)

-35% at Level 1 (National Adult Literacy Survey)
-66% at Level 1 or 2
-37% lack a high school diploma or equivalent


St Louis County (pop age 16+: 775,060)

-16% at Level 1 (National Adult Literacy Survey)
-37% at Level 1 or 2
-17% lack a high school dipolma or equivalent


Missouri (pop age 16+: 3,939,284)

-17% at Level 1 (National Adult Literacy Survey)
-46% at Level 1 or 2
-25% lack a high school diploma


National (pop 191 million)

-21-23% at Level 1
-25-28% at Level 2 (46-51% at Level 1 or 2)

"Literacy experts believe that adults with skills at Levels 1 and 2 lack a sufficient foundation of basic skills to function successfully in our society."

Many factors help to explain the relatively large number of adults in Level 1: 25% of adults in Level 1 were immigrants with limited English. 60%+ did not complete high school. 30%+ were over the age of 65. 25%+ had physical or mental conditions that kept them from fully participating in work, school, housework or other activities. Almost 20% had vision problems that affected their ability to read print.

-adapted from NIFL: Frequently Asked Questions


There are, of course, more students than tutors. We do this all one to one. The students come to us requesting assistance, often they don't want freinds, family or collegues to know that they are learning. They need more people to help, it requires an hour or two of commitment a week and two Saturdays for training, they provide materials, locations for teaching in (public venues), matching tutors to students and assesing the level of the student. It is worth it.

In other news, I watched a hawk carry off the rabbit that had been eating my veggies today. Spectacular.

A Trip to Hermann

The invitation came in a thick cream envelope, and in the hand of a friend. I remembered that she had been pessimistic about this place on her first visit, more than a year ago. This time the pessimism was mine, for a different reason. I come from farms, from rolling countryside. I know it isn't romantic. I don't like mud, or biting insects, or long periods in the sun, or sleeping under the stars. I have a stubborn fondness for indoor plumbing and hot water. But the friend who gave me the invitation promised guest houses and good food, so on Saturday we threw drinks and lawn chairs into the car and headed out to our destination.

We arrived to see the Harpist, sitting under the tree, harp between his legs, playing 'The Ash Grove'. He told us that the others were inside, eating cheese and cracker for lunch. We went and introduced ourselves to the few who had arrived. Within the hour we were down at the creak. Something of the child had been released in me, I climbed a tree (despite the heels), and paddled in the stream (having tied my skirt up). One person fell in, the cows lowed, alarmed by the interruption. We lost Teabringer down there for two hours and he found snakes, Cray fish and minnows.

Our host took us on tractor rides (a tiny 4x4 in reality), and let one of the party drive. I sat for a long time taking with The Harpist, and he looked through my music and played for me while I sang. Dinner was served as a thunderstorm passed by to the North. Many of the people cooking also write for Sauce, and the spread was magnificent. We ate and drank. As the sun set we all moved towards the newly-lit fire and sat around it. I tried some of Transylvanian Dutch's white port. Papers, flies and musical instruments emerged. Everyone who had been invited had a talent to offer.

Readings and music went into the night. The red sparks from the fire drifted to join the steady stars in the sky. Lighting bugs flashed to their own music in the prairie. The frogs in the creak were audible from the farmhouse.

We left a little before midnight, after the host had gone to bed and the party was winding down. And I knew that we were lucky to have found such great friends here.

The Editing Draw

I finally faced it today. The last possible thing to do before I absolutly have to get on with the novel. It wasn't nearly as bad as it looked. But the time I'd sorted it out I had discovered two short stories which were essentially done and I'd forgotten I'd written and the rest wasn't too painful at all. Between tonight (when I intend to do that getting up in the middle of the night to work thing, the only solution in this heat) and tomorrow, I hope to have everything I possibly can out. So I have no excuses. No draw of editing, no 'I could just do some marketing'. I think it will come to about 13 stories of various quality, genre and length to go out in the next couple of days (some of these are re-sends). That should take me to about 20 out. Someone has to give in at some point.

The plan for next week is to get the editing and formatting done on Black's Magic so I can send the first 23,000 words to Sun Junkie, who I hope will be joining the small group when we get back together again. Then I'm going to aim for 1000 words a day (in slightly less than NaNoWriMo fashion). I really want to see the end of this and get it out into the market. Having read some synopsis, however, I am determined to re-write my own. This may be the first task I give myself as I think it will help structurally.

For now, I'm looking forward to a night on the Hill with Teabringer this evening, and a day's dress shopping and movie watching with a good friend on Tuesday. With any luck all this marketing may buy me the new summer dress I crave to help cope with the unbearable hotness.

There may be something for WUTA on Tuesday, but I doubt it.

Shopping on Manchester

I spent a very plesant day with a great friend browsing the shops on Manchester. Some of the best shops in St Louis are over there, including The Book House, Pom Pom and Elizabeth House. I bought book (predictable I know, but there we are).

There is a little news which may sadden some of you; the book house is being sold and may be closing. They are, however, having a large sale at the moment, and are now open on Sunday afternoons. Get there while you can.

A mental workout of perhaps some worth

N-S-R You scored 88% Non-Reductionism, 22% Epistemological Absolutism, and 22% Moral Objectivism!

You are an N-S-R: a metaphysical Non-Reductionist, an epistemological Skeptic, and a moral Relativist. If you are simply dying inside to figure out what all this mumbo-jumbo means, then simply continue reading. Metaphysics: Non-Reductionism (Idealism or Realism) In metaphysics, my test measures your tendency towards Reductionism or Non-Reductionism. As a Non-Reductionist, you recognize that reality is not necessarily simple or unified, and you thus tend to produce a robust ontology instead of carelessly shaving away hypothetical entities that reflect our philosophical experiences. My test recognizes two types of Non-Reductionists: Idealists and Realists. 1. Idealists believe that reality is fundamentally unknowable. All we can ever know is the world of sense experience, thought, and other phenomena which are only distorted reflections of an ultimate (or noumenal) reality. Kant, one of the most significant philosophers in history, theorized that human beings perceive reality in such a way that they impose their own mental frameworks and categories upon reality, fully distorting it. Reality for Kant is unconceptualized and not subject to any of the categories our minds apply to it. Idealists are non-reductionists because they recognize that the distinction between phenomenal reality and ultimate reality cannot be so easily discarded or unified into a single reality. They are separate and distinct, and there is no reason to suppose the one mirrors the other. Major philosophical idealists include Kant and Fichte. If your views are different from the above, then you may be a Realist. 2. Realists deny the validity of sloppy metaphysical reductions, because they feel that there is no reason to suspect that reality reflects principles of parsimony or simplicity. Realism is the most common-sensical of the metaphysical views. It doesn't see reality as a unity or as reducible to matter or mind, nor does it see reality as divided into a phenomenal world of experience and an unknowable noumenal world of things-in-themselves. Realist metaphysics emphasizes that reality is for the most part composed of the things we observe and think. On the question of the existence of universals, for instance, a realist will assert that while universals do not physically exist, the relations they describe in particulars are as real as the particular things themselves, giving universals a type of reality. Thus, no reduction is made. On the mind-body problem, realists tend to believe that minds and bodies both exist, and the philosophical problems involved in reducing mind to matter or matter to mind are too great to warrant such a reduction. Finally, realists deny that reality is ultimately a Unity or Absolute, though they recognize that reality can be viewed as a Unity when we consider the real relations between the parts as constituting this unity--but it doesn't mean that the world isn't also made up of particular things. Karl Popper is a famous realist. ***** Epistemology: Skepticism (Idealism or Subjectivism) In regards to epistemology, my test measures your tendency towards Absolutism or Skepticism. As an epistemological Skeptic, you believe that ultimate reality cannot be known in any objective way. The two categories of Skeptics that my test recognizes are Idealists and Subjectivists. 1. Epistemological Idealists believe that knowledge of ultimate reality is impossible. All we can ever have knowledge about is the world of phenomenal human experience, but there is no reason to suspect that reality mirrors our perceptions and thoughts, according to Idealists. Idealists, then, tend to see truth not as a correspondence between propositions and reality--reality is, after all, fundamentally unknowable--but as a coherence between a whole system of propositions taken to be true. We cannot escape from language or our conceptualized world of phenomena, so we are unable to reference propositions to facts and must instead determine their truth by comparing them to other propositions we hold to be true. As a result of such an idealism, knowledge of any ultimate reality is taken to be impossible, hence the Skeptical tendency of idealism. All our pursuits of knowledge, science included, can only reflect a phenomenal reality that is of our own making. Famous idealists include Kant and Fichte. If the above did not sound skeptical or idealistic enough to reflect your own views, then you are most likely a Subjectivist. 2. Epistemological Subjectivists, like idealists, believe that all our knowledge is ultimately of our own making because it is filtered through our subjective perceptions. Unlike an idealist, though, a subjectivist doesn't believe in any universal categories of "truth" that apply to the phenomenal world, because each individual can create his own truth. Either that, or he will hold that society or custom creates its own forms of truth. A subjectivist will tend to regard scientific inquiry as a game of sorts--science does not reveal truths about reality, but only gives scientists pseudo-solutions to pseudo-problems of the scientific community's own devising. It is a type of puzzle-solving, but the puzzle isn't of reality. The definition of truth to a subjectivist may be one that recognizes a proposition's usefulness to an individual. William James is one such subjectivist, who believes that we can "will to believe" certain propositions so long as we would find them useful. The example he gives is being found in a situation where you must leap over a chasm in order to survive. The true belief, in such a situation, is that the leap will be successful--this truth is certainly more useful to us, and in believing the truth we become more willing to commit to the jump and make it successful. So, in essence, knowledge of reality is possible for a subjectivist because they never make reference to any objective reality existing outside of our own perceptions and beliefs--we can have knowledge of reality through having knowledge of ourselves, and that is all that we should ask for. Famous subjectivists include Kuhn, Feyarabend, and James. Another famed critic of Absolutism is Hume. ***** Ethics: Relativism (Subjectivism or Emotivism) My test measures one's tendency towards moral Objectivism or moral Relativism in regards to ethics. As a moral Relativist, you tend to see moral choices as describing a subject's reaction to a moral object or situation, and not as a property of the moral object itself. You may also feel that moral words are meaningless because they do not address any empirical fact about the world. My test recognizes two types of moral relativists--Subjectivists and Emotivists. 1. Subjectivists see individual or collective desires as defining a situation's or object's moral worth. Thus, the subject, not the object itself, determines the value. Subjectivists recognize that social rules, customs, and morality have been wide-ranging and quite varied throughout history among various cultures. As a result, Subjectivism doesn't attempt to issue hard and fast rules for judging the moral worth of things. Instead, it recognizes that what we consider "good" and "right" is not bound by any discernable rule. There is no one trait that makes an act good or right, because so many different kinds of things have been called good and right. In regards to the definition of "good" or "right", a Subjectivist will tend to define it as whatever a particular person or group of people desire. They do not define it merely as "happiness" or "pleasure", for instance, because sometimes we desire to do things that do not produce pleasure, and because we don't consider all pleasurable things good. Furthermore, Subjectivists recognize the validity of consequentialism in that sometimes we refer to consequences as good and bad--but they also recognize that our intentions behind an action, or the means to the end, can also determine an act's moral worth. Again, there is no one rule to determine these things. Hence the relativism of moral Subjectivism. The most well-known of the subjectivists is Nietzsche. If that didn't sound like your position, then you are probably the other variety of moral Relativist--the Emotivist. Emotivists are moral Relativists only in a very slanted sense, because they actually deny that words about morality have any meaning at all. An Emotivist would probably accept Hume's argument that it is impossible to derive an "ought" from an "is"--no factual state of affairs can logically entail any sort of moral action. Furthermore, a emotivist's emphasis on scientific (and hence empirical) verification and testing quickly leads to the conclusion that concepts such as "good" and "right" don't really describe any real qualities or relations. Science is never concerned with whether a particular state of affairs is moral or right or good--and an emotivist feels much the same way. Morality is thus neither objective or subjective for the emotivist--it is without any meaning at all, a sort of vague ontological fiction that is merely a symbol for our emotional responses to certain events. Famous emotivists include Ayer and other positivists associated with the Vienna Circle. ***** As you can see, when your philosophical position is narrowed down there are so many potential categories that an OKCupid test cannot account for them all. But, taken as very broad categories or philosophical styles, you are best characterized as an N-S-R. Your exact philosophical opposite would be an R-A-O.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 83% on Metaphysics You scored higher than 5% on Epistemology You scored higher than 8% on Ethics

Link: The Sublime Philosophical Crap Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Fermented Pleasures

The garden party was pleasing. I think everyone had fun, I enjoyed myself a great deal. Teabringer set up the BBQ and about 25 people showed up to spend some time here. The nesting cardinals seeme to have dealt fairly well with the intrusion and have waited until today to try and pusuade the fledgling to take flight. The food was great (although we'll be eating leftovers for some time) and the company fantastic.

I made rather a mess of arrangements for today, however. The party wound down at about 1.00am and I got to bed at about 3.30 a little the worse for the fermented pleasures, but with the house cleaned up. We woke at 11.30. There was a hike we were supposed to be on at 10.00, although Teabringer mentioned that we might not be there.

We did make it over to the Graphic Poet's new pad, with he shares with the Guy Who Wants to Illustrate For Me (more on that should it emerge...creative enterprise is always much easier in theory). We chatted with them for a long while; it was great to catch up, although I fear I wasn't at my social best (sorry guys, we'll have brunch and make it up). I left to get to the Mage game in time.

Didn't make the Mage game. I was looking forward to it, I really was...but Teabringer wanted another plant, so we popped over to Sugar Creak, and then I was passing the bookstore and I had been recommended a book I was keen to read, so I picked that up. Then we got home and ate, and I realised that time had vanished and I'd missed the first two hours of the game and I was still half an hour away.

Never mind. I finished the novel and enjoyed it a great deal.

There will be a new short story on Tuesday. It is simmering quietly in the back of my mind.

Epiphyte

An open orchid
Epiphytic and insecure
Clings to rough surface
White with fear
Curving to the ground
Bowed by the weight of petal
Killing for beauty

A Disturbing Letter

This morning there was a handwritten letter in the post. It was addressed to Teabringer, the handwriting was awful and there was no return address. I opened it (we open each other's mail, it makes everything run more smoothly) . The contents were as follows, in the same handwriting as the envelope (I'm guessing left handed), all capital letters:

May 14th, 2006

Karen Kostich is right on target about people like you.

I googled the name and came up with the letters page where Teabringer last sent something to the Post Dispatch. So the letter I received this morning is non-threatening in content, but very threatening in style. They have our address and all it would take is a glance in the 'phone book to have my name and our phone number.

What would you do?

This one from Altongal

Which Tarot Card Are You?

You are the Devil card. The Devil is based on the figure Pan, Lord of the Dance. The earthy physicality of the devil breeds lust. The devil's call to return to primal instincts often creates conflict in a society in which many of these instincts must be kept under control. Challenges posed by our physical bodies can be overcome by strength in the mental, emotional, and spiritual realms. Pan is also a symbol of enjoyment and rules our material creativity. The devil knows physical pleasure and how to manipulate the physical world. Material creativity finds its output in such things as dance, pottery, gardening, and sex. The self-actualized person is able to accept the sensuality and usefulness of the devil's gifts while remaining in control of any darker urges. Image from The Stone Tarot deck. http://hometown.aol.com/newtarotdeck/
Take this quiz!








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Scientology - The Real World Technocrats

Wednesday was Open house day at the Scientology building on the loop. Anarky and I were having our usual Wednesday lunch and gossip when we noticed the sign and decided to go in together (figuring they'd have to be really well coordinated to hit us both over the head). It has a Ziggurat - how could I possibly not. We went in. We gave false names (wouldn't you?) and we expressed an interest in the building. Brad, the poor soul allocated to show us around, looked doubtful.

It used to be an old Masonic lodge, I happen to know that the masons now live by the Wellston Metrolink. The building was spectacular, but they had done quite a lot of destructive office building inside. Most of the corners had been rounded, the colour scheme was nondescript. There is no way they showed us the whole building. Maybe the front 1/3, tops. Brad claimed that the third floor was not refurbished and unsafe to view.

The ground floor was bog-standard offices really. Some of the rooms were set up like classrooms, some had books and pictures on the wall. It seemed quite confrontational in the setu: chairs opposite one another at the desks. There was another room where analogue machines looking a little like ammeters, were on partitioned desks against the wall. These I recognised as the 'stress meters' I had seen them use when they were doing their evangelising on the loop. One of the pictures on the wall was labelled with the title 'auditor'.

The second floor was creepy. No other way to describe it. We glanced into a room that Brad described as an 'auditorium' but which looked more like an activities room. There were 6 people in the room. They all wore black and white, not a bit of colour to be seen. On the table closest to the door was a model-making area. There were clay representations on people in circles on it. We walked down the corridor into a room with sofas in it. A door to an office was open to one side. It had a plaque with a list hanging from the inside. It was this list which made me go Argh! Technocrat!

The list had 10 points, and it is here I wish I had a perfect memory. What I do recall is that it started with points running like this: 'Ensure the correct technology is used.' 'Ensure the correct technology is used properly.' 'Ensure the dissemination of the correct technology.' 'Know that the correct technology is right.' Went on to say things like: 'Do not use incorrect technology', 'Ensure that incorrect technology cannot be disseminated'...need I continue?

What with that, the vibe, the fact that the building was far from open house and Brad's reluctance (in fact inability, it would seem), to give us answers which were non-contradictory, we left.

Shudder.

Tired and happy

I'm sorry I haven't updated for so long. Sleep was more important for a while there.

So Mum came and we went to the NBIA Conference at Union Station. We stayed in the posh hotel there and I went to eat with Mum. There were several seminars at the meal times and I travelled out to the incubators one day. It was interesting enough and good to spend time with Mum, but I am worried that she is doing the work of four people and seeing this as normal. The incubation stuff is only a part of the work that she does and others seemed to be doing half of what she was doing with the incubators as one job. But the motivational speaker was Fred Pryor and he was very good at what he did. In the same seminar he managed to pursuade Mum that she was doing too much and me that I should return to my big projects and focus.

The conference had its main reception at the Botanic Gardens, the gardens were lovely and suprisingly different on Tuesday from what they had been on Saturday (the three of us had headed over there on Mum's spare day). They had thier Chihuly exhibit open for the delegates. It was amazing, beautiful, cheering, namely all the things I had hoped it would be. Give the garden your money. See it. It is worthwhile. I will be going again.

Carbondale on friday was a lot of fun, despite the spontaneous decision to go and my having no real plans for Verity that evening. Games have been smaller lately, which I think leads to better RP, but some are disgruntled about. Last night at StL it was quiet too, wouldn't really have been worth my while had it not been for some good ST interaction - it was so predicatable I could have scripted it. Never mind, Wednesday will be more exciting.

Yesterday was also a concert day. The Welsh chior sang at Florissant Shrine for thier town celebration day. It went well enough, only a small audience in attendence, but we sang quite well. I squeezed in The Wonderful Editing Lady's play reading too. I think it went down well. Lots of people showed up and there was a party atmosphere when I left (although Teabringer, who was at a block party in Alton, was much missed).

Today, I hope, will be peaceful. Gardening, reading, writing and maybe dinner at Frank and Helen's. The garden here is lovely now. Irises are out and almost all the plants we put in are thriving. The only sad thing is that I lost some seedings when the trays flooded in the storms. But not all of them and those that have survived were probably the stonger ones. It saves me having to thin them. Anyone for cherry tomatoes? I have spare plants.

Huzzah!

In a moment of inspiration I just worked ut how to log on to the DURPS board again. Yay! I can use computer! (I even let the exclamation marks out of the box, look how excited I am).

In other news, there are unkillable tomatoes...

Mum arrives tomorrow, must return to unnecessary cleaning.

Anyone for poetry?

A ghostly form made solid
In the reflection of love
Knowledge of thoughts
Sufficient
Inadequate

A Day in the Life of a Seedling

The sun warmed my new leaf gently as I sipped moisture from the freshly watered soil. My roots were beginning to spread and sometimes they wound around roots from neighbouring plants. One had reached the bottom of the soil and rested upon the black base of the tray where it too could feel the sun's heat.
We were moved this morning. The tinsel which had glittered in the sun and kept the birds away in our infancy was removed and we found ourselves in the shade. I revelled briefly in the cool. There was a commotion at the other end of the tray, seedlings being uprooted and earth scattering over surrounding leaves. Small screams issued from plants as their roots were exposed to the sun and then left to die. The causalities were the small, the sick and the weak, with only the occasional large seedling felled.
The hand which pulled up so many of my fellows approached me. I felt my roots tugged as the places where I had twined with others were wrenched apart. The hand fell to my right, earth showering over my new leaf, leaving it in darkness. The hand descended again, pulling up my neighbour, leaving me destabilised and lurching toward the ground. A finger caressed my stem, righted me. The earth around me was firm and empty.
Soon I was back in the sun; soil washed from my new leaf with fresh water, roots expanding once more to accommodate the new leaves I would grow tomorrow.

Driving

Last night I went over to Carbondale with a couple of freinds to play in the LARP over there. The game was fun. I drove. One of the guys with me needed to be at work at 5.00am. We usually get home at about 4.00. Last night we left earlier than usual and I put my foot down a little (although I confess the putting the foot down wasn't more than usual...I tend to drive a little too quickly).

We were on our way home on Route 3 and had just come over the bridge into MO when I was pulled over by a policeman. I've never been pulled over here before and I was a little nervous. The policeman was nice and pointed out I was going to fast. I was, I didn't dispute it. He asked for all our ID's. One of the guys in the car works for the police mending the radios. He handed over his police ID (and his army ID) as well as his driver's licence. The police officer ran our ID's to make sure we weren't fugatives and send us on our way. No ticket. No nothing. Amazing.

I suspect a little professional courtesy was employed. I deserved the ticket. Lucky, lucky, lucky.

George

Teabringer's Grandfather died last night. He was a good man and an easy friend. Always happy to be alive, George recounted his good luck in being selected for the missions he was on in the war; his good fortune in surviving where so many of his freinds died. His joy at his long life. This was shown in his constant fascination and interaction with the world.

Those of us who knew him will miss him a great deal, but we each hold a fragment of him. A tale, an experience, a letter, a piece of life given to us to be shared. People never truly vanish, they are glimpsed accross years and generations, in happy and fulfilling moments.

Yesterday I saw an exhibit in the Pulitzer and there was one piece which stood, for me, above all the others. Felix Gonzalez-Torres had a exhibit in which a pile of sliver wrapped candies were on the floor. The made up the weight of both him and his lover. Visitors were encouraged to take a piece or two of the candy and consume it.

The best people of the world can be seen in this art. They always give pieces of themselves: to be consumed, to be made part of something else, to be savoured, cherished for a fleeting moment. They show seemingly never ending generosity and sacrifice. Still they shine bright. They always give joy. George was one of those people. He will be missed.


Teabringer has written a Haiku to be added:

Loss is love's worst pain
Regrets, kind words not spoken
to a heart now still

A Rant

It's really hard to move here. I know, I've been through the system. It took almost a year. If we wanted to stay permanently, it would take approximatly 10 years. We were forced to stand in 80 degree heat for almost three hours outside an embassy. Several people in line were elderly, one woman was pregnant. We were all moving for different reasons, but for the most part people from Europe come here to fill jobs that Americans cannot do. That is part of the visa criteria. That's why I don't work here, an MA is insufficient qualification for me to have independent visa status without someone specifically requesting me to work. America's immigration policy is amazingly unreasonable and one of the most strigent in the world.

The temporary work visas already exist. That's what Teabringer's visa is. I am classed as a 'dependent', have you any idea how galling that is? Have you any clue at all how difficult it is for me to turn down pay for work? We are here because no American can do the work my husband is doing. I will not be staying. America stands for many great things, but when it comes to sharing those things with the world something seems to go astray.

The hispanic people come here because it's their best option. Europe has similar problems coming over it's boarders from Korea and the middle east. Britian is doing some horrible things to its immigrants at the moment. But at least there I can do something to change it.

These people form 3.5% of the population of the US. The unemployemnt rate is currently 6%. You could send them away and your unemployment rate would drop, right? Great! Wrong.

These people are doing jobs anyone can do. But they're doing them for wages most people wouldn't accept. They're doing this to survive. They come here to risk the free market, and in doing that actually free the market further, in coporate terms. But they pay no taxes, make no insurance contributions and do not contribute to medicare. These people are some of the poorest in the country. They have no spare money, they have poor housing, poor healthcare and are most at risk of disease and social exclusion. In not paying for medicare, they are not entitled to it. That means that the sick are left to get sicker. America has some of the poorest poor people in the first world. Don't believe me? Cheak out the WHO.

In not paying taxes they're not helping to make the country a better and safer place to live. Give them visas. Make the coporations pay proper wages, then these people can have incomes and medicare and imporve the lot of the poorest poor. Give them wages so they can pay taxes and contribute to the country. Let your market work properly. They won't even get a vote with a working visa, damnit! You can only win from giving these people what they want. Hell it might even make this country a nicer place to live (oh, sorry, it's perfect already...right?).

People are people. It annoys me that they have to demonstrate to be allowed to pay taxes. It annoys me that the immigration policy here is so insane that to get in requires more than a year of paperwork. It annoys me most that these people still have to move illegally to stand a chance of surviving. Hell's teeth, let them do something, you can set the criteria!

I am annoyed.

Just in from Six Foot Hobbit...(these are my answers)

1. What time did you get up this morning: 8.15, but that's horribly early for me. I drove my Mother in law to the airport.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds. They sparkle - got to agree there.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Goodnight and Good Luck.
4. What is your favourite TV show? Red Dwarf, Black Books or Coupling (what can I say, I'm a sucker for sitcom) .
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Coffee. About a pot full.
6. Favourite cuisine? Italian if I'm hungry, sushi if I'm feeling healthy.
7. What is your middle name? Bethan.
8. What food do you dislike? Salmon, ginger, anything horribly spicy.
9. What is your favourite CD at the moment? Catatonia - International Velvet.
10. What kind of car do you drive? Hyundi Elantra.
11. Favourite sandwich? Steak with Blue cheese from the Bread co.
12. What characteristic do you despise? Callousness
13. Favourite item of clothing? Half black corset
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? Great Barrier Reef (but I'll change my mind tomorrow)
15. What colour is your bathroom? One white and black, one white and cream.
16. Favourite brand of clothing? Practical corsets.
17. Where would you retire to? Somewhere with young people
18. What was your most recent memorable birthday? Venice
19. Favourite sport to watch? Fencing, Rugby or F1.
20. Furthest place you are sending this? Going on blog, who knows. Perhaps I'll start a meme.
21. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Someone without a computer.
22. Person you expect to send it back first? Set it free!
23. Favourite saying? Why does a fish? I don't know why. Ask me a riddle and I'll reply: coddlestone, coddlestone, coddlestone pie.
24. When is your birthday? 26th Spetember.
25. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night.
26. What is your shoe size? 4.5 UK, 6.5 US.
27. Pets? Bertie and Lillian Bird.
28. How are you today? Relaxed, happy, full of good intent.
29 What is your favourite candy? That's a tough one, I've been known to eat cough sweets for fun...
30. What are your favourite Roses? Big ones with lots of petals, preferably red, scented (they're grown in the garden by my husband)
31. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Party on Sunday...home to UK at the end of July.

Mostly on writing

I enjoyed having Teabringer's Mum to stay, I got to do lots of nice things. Now it's back to it. I have lots I want to acomplish in the next couple of months. I'm enjoying the land of short story, but suspect I'm now dodging the main event - namely the novel. There will be much more of it very soon. I need to overcome my fear of becoming entangled in my own plot and just get on with it. There seems to be a point in every novel where the writer becomes disenchanted or just overwhelmed. It sems to me that there is a point where the is so much depth and possible direction for so many charaters that one is at a loss to select whose story is the important one and which plotline needs to be told first. I'm going to try and plunge into it and see what happens. If it dies in the attempt, so be it. I know I have to kill a major charater. I know I have to say some tings that will be contraversial. So be it, I have not chosen to write popcorn novels for a reason. I do, however, have a cracking good idea for a short story for tomorrow. Vampire based, but that's how it goes sometimes. Anarkey says she likes Vampire stuff anyway, so I won't have lost all my audience. As Teabringer wants to write tonight, I may well do the same.

On a bright note I'm managing the 'submit one thing a week' resolution I made (after Transylvanian Dutch) in January. If I can keep this up as well as completing Black's Magic I will be doing very well in terms of production. I think my marketing skills are still wanting. I seem to do best on days when I'm feeling a little cynical; perhaps the editors empathise.

I'm hoping this week will be a little more normal. I don't seem to have settled down to do any real work in a long time. I'm also missing what used to be a regular schedule of callers and calls. I suspect this is mostly my fault for being so erratic in the past few months. I am still determined to do better.

SoStL on Wednesday. Promises to be a great game, I'm looking forward to it.

Mostly About People and Places

Under 'Cleaning and Sorting' I have a bot comment! Ever since I heard that they talk back I've been looking for a bot to annoy on the web...I've yet to find one. I suppose I will given enough time, to be honest I'll need to go to chatrooms and random talk places more for this to work. Perhaps a mission for a rainy day.

There are more seeds up in the garden, some of them are even things I wanted. The botanic gardens looked spectacular, and I intend to see the glass sculptures which will be there from the start of next month through to the beginning of October.

There are some other things going on too; the chior will be singing at the flower festival (I will have to manage this on one rehersal since the last concert, cue omionus chords). Mum is arriving at the end of the month, I have a wedding reception to attend and tickets home still to buy for August. We'll hopfully be hitting Mid Wales, Malvern, Dundee and London. We've got two weeks, so I'll let you all know where we'll be when.

I'm currently feeling horribly guilty that I didn't remeber to call Teabringer's Dad on Friday before it was too late. It is now, once again, too late to call. Damn, damn, damn. Also feeling awful about the fact that the two remaining grandfathers are sick in much the same way in hospitals in Britain and I can visit niether. Ugh. Failed in family responsiblities.

Hoping to spend a lot of next week on the 'phone to various people. I've been too lax in my correspondence of late, but I got some very pretty cards from the botanic gardens to inspire me to do some letters.

Being a Tourist in a City You Know

Teabringer's Mother is staying with us this week, she arrived on Tuesday and will be going home again on Monday. Six days didn't really seem long enough, but she got over the jeg lag faster than anyone I have known (including the hardened travellers I know). We've had a busy week, and I had to pick what to do quite carefully, given the limited time. Here's what I picked (feel free to disagree to your heart's content)

Tuesday - Arrive late sans baggage. Dinner, wait for baggage which doesn't turn up, bed.

Wednesday - Baggage arrives, just before we leave. Got to the Arch, it's the city symbol and seemed appropiate for a place to start. Good stuff, despite the large amounts of small children. Shared tumble-dryer-esq pod with interesting people. Went to the Basillica, although we only spent about half an hour there as they had a service starting. We spent the afternoon at the Sculpture park. In the evening we walked down to the Loop and to Riddle's Penultimate Bar, when one can get good food and excellent local wine from the huge wine list. I pursuaded the ticket man to let us stand in the Tivoli foyer on the way home.

Thursday - Difficult choices ahead. It was due to rain, so we did indoor things. The Fox theatre in the morning for thier guided tour (wonderful, informed tour guides and the theatre organist performing and answering questions. A spectacular place, I wish I'd known about the tours sooner). Then we met Teabringer for lunch in a middle eastern resterant on Euclid by the hospitals (I don't know the name and wish I could remember it, the food was good and they had wonderful turkish sweet things). The afternoon was spent at the Art Museam, where Teabringer's Mum showed her vast knowledge of art by walking into rooms and saying "isn't this...(fill in name of artist)" While I went and read the label saying "errr...yes" and feeling alarmingly ignorant. We watched The Big Lebrowski in the evening, not one of my favourites, but a good film.

Friday - Teabringer took the day off and we went to the Zoo in the morning. Reptiles, Birds, Penguins, Bears and Butterflies. The on to Schlafly Brewery for lunch and the tour. I met the wife of one of the brewers, who is also a writer and we re-established contact and resolved to have lunch again in the near future. then we got distracted from tourism and went to Sugar Creek Nusery to look at the plants...

Saturday - We spent today in the garden putting yesterday's purchases in the ground. There is a plan for a BBQ this evening, and why not.

Tomorrow - Brunch at Brandt's before the Botanical garden and its new children's garden, then dinner out somewhere, maybe the Jade Garden or perhaps the Blue Water Grill if it's open.

Back to the airport on Monday...not enough time. Wanted to go over to the Cahokia mounds, do the History Museam, maybe see something at the Rep, go to the caves, to the big butterfly house, to the nature reserve outside the city limits, get the ferry from by Alton, visit St Charles...so much to do. Perhaps she will come back another time.

This pleases me more than it ought...

You scored as Storyteller. You're more inclined toward the role playing side of the equation and less interested in numbers or experience points. You're quick to compromise if you can help move the story forward, and get bored when the game slows down for a long planning session. You want to play out a story that moves like it's orchestrated by a skilled novelist or film director. Storyteller 92% Method Actor 83% Tactician 50% Specialist 50% Power Gamer 25% Casual Gamer 8% Butt-Kicker 0% Law's Game Style created with QuizFarm.com

The Social Animal

I had no idea this weekend would involve so many people. We had a great time, although we only really managed to stop to breathe this evening. Friday I went out with a whole crowd of people to lunch in forest park before going for a pleasant walk and doing a little writing in the sun. Friday night we went out with COG to Smitty's over in Chesterfield (long drive, but there we are). The following was written on the back of a napkin at about 10.30:

"Smells like a real bar" A rare compliament from Teabringer. It was packed solid too, with proper barstools and even a little tablesharing. Smitty's was something like a taste of home. Even down to the wait staff. The guy who picked the bar knew one of the waitresses, but given the paranoia he'd spent hours (possibly days) culitvating, he left after food arrived to secure further tables for late arrivals. We didn't see the waitress again until we rejoined him.

Several long, pained looks emerged over the course of the evening. COG is not fond of noise. It likes to talk and doesn't react well to having it's carefully constructed soundwaves polluted. The music only got louder. And the band arrived. More Looks were shared.

We moved closer to the band to accomodate our host. We sat far to close to the speaker. It was loud. Very loud. And they kicked off with country music. "When do we throw the bottles?" I asked. "When they play Rawhide" said Teabringer.

They were actually very good, and there were no more country numbers (to be fair country music has its merits, I just have a limited supply of morose in me on a Friday night). A stereotypical all male band: Lead guitar played by a man who looked like he spent slightly more time than is healthy rehersing. Lead singer the good looking guy who made enough jokes in poor taste to put off any sane woman. And the shy, true musician on bass.

We were a tough table to win over. And we sat in the front row. They did a good job.

Saturday saw an enjoyable day at the zoo with Altongal and her children. We got to see the butterflies (my favourite, close to the penguins), the insects for the boys, the reptiles for Teabringer and the train for the youngest amoungst us. I hope Altongal got to see something she wanted as well. After a few hours in the sun I hurried home to get ready for an evening with the British Ladies' murder mystery party. Many thanks are due to The Tuxedoed Prince for resecuing me and driving me all evening. Favours of uncommon proportions are owed, especially given the short notice. It was a good night, and when I came home Teabringer had gone out to his party, so between us we got to see all sorts of people.

Then today we got to see The Graphic Poet and Trend Setter for brunch (There was some discussion of screen names, perhaps I should have mentioned that they have already been christened). We rapidly found a topic to expand upon. Look out for the advent of eZchurch (no pun intended). I promise I will run a Mage game this month. I have been lax. I apologise. Now all there is to do is some shopping and cleaning for the arrival of Teabringer's Mum on Tuesday. A happy weekend.

...I just learnt that Teabringer tends not to read my blog. Apparently he wants me to be able to complain about him in privacy.

International Books to Eat Day

Coinsiding with April 1st...

Books to eat!

Enjoy.

Cleaning and Sorting

The basement looks great. It is finally clean and clear of all the junk. The bulk collection was supposed to be today, but ominously the stuff is still outside, lent against the dumpsters (they somehow managed to empty the dumpsters without disturbing it, I'd love to know how). Teabringer had an enjoyable hour hitting the concrete sink with a sledgehammer (quote "The world seems much less permanent when you have one of these), and a slightly less enjoyable couple of hours removing the rubble. I cleaned, big style, and wrote a horror story based upon cleaning experience (avalible upon application, I'm not putting it up here because it might do for money at a later date).

On a less positive note the plumber is coming back tomorrow. The leak from the upstairs bathroom doesn't look good. On the bright side it's leaking into the downstairs shower, so at least the water is draining away, but all the same, the ceiling doesn't look happy and if the 'easy' solution, to be implimented tomorrow, doesn't work then it's going to be take the ceiling down time.

There was a fire this morning. Some of you know my feelings about fires. Lots of fire engines, many, many people and it looks like a house may have been lost. It was on my street, less than half a block away. The fire department were quick to come. There was horrible yellow smoke for a time. I'm trying not to dwell.

I had lunch with Altongal today, we had fun, but I missed Anarky. Altongal is interested in joining the Mage LARP. She hasn't LARPed before, but has done lots of tabletop, so she'll be a good addition.

For now I must go and tell the Nice Young Man not to mow over the crocuses...

Where to begin?

Seeds are up! The nasturtiums are growing quite merrily in the window boxes and hanging baskets, I have more than there ought to be in such a small space so I will have to take a deep breath and thin them in a couple of weeks. Teabringer and I are going to go out and do some more seeding over the weekend. It's wonderful seeing things come up.

My throat is very, very sore and I'm hoping that the tonsilitis which has plauged me for years isn't raising its ugly head in a country with such expensive healthcare. I'm going to nurse myself a little today (dangerous, given my tendency toward clumsy) and probably excuse myself from COG tonight, although this annoys me because they are new friends and I don't want to let them down.

Last night was wierd, possibly due to being ill; I had very vivid dreams about pregnancy. First Lillian hatched an egg and I ended up with 3 budgerigars (one green, two blue), two cockatils and a barn owl (I have no idea where the latter came from, only budgies came from budgies), flying around my parent's main hall. Then I was pregnant (and disturbed that I didn't know when the pregnancy began) and at the Carbondale gamesite crossed with a service station on the M6 (Annandale water if you know it). I thought I was giving birth, but I couldn't work out if I had been pregnant long enough. All sorts of people were there, but no one you might expect (Teabringer was missing along with any family from either side). It was deeply disturbing and has rather put me off what I'm supposed to be doing this morning.

I'm supposed to be finishing the short story I was mid-way through at WUTA (Hawk House) to take to the meeting at lunchtime, so it could be edited and I can line up some stuff to go back out on the marketing circuit. This needs to hapen ASAP as I now have three stories that are nagging to be written:

1) Tails of Grace
2) The Lost Word
3) Getting a Life

Any preferences? 1 and 3 will be Dark Fantasy (1 much darker than 3), 2 is still a concept waiting to be built on (I haven't had a florishing moment with it since its conception). Where to begin?

The Technomancers

Hotmail is a strange and paranoid beast. It lurks, aware of its master’s commands: policing the internet as much as it is able, preventing flourishing for fear of true freedom. We are too free for the tastes of the technomancers. They had intended to take the world over with their machines, making everything as difficult and obscure as they could. They would be the only beings who could function. Everyone would be controlled by them.

Loading the world with machines was a simple task. Branded as things of simplicity and simplification people grasped at the grey boxes, hoping life could be made easy through the application of technology. The technomancers were pleased, they could control all. They knew everyone through their machines, every action and reaction. The internet was their greatest triumph. Communications and entertainment were all controllable. And they were controlled by them.

There was only one mistake. The technomancers had decided to allow the internet to grow on its own. Expanding as it needed to. They had thought it would make things more complicated, more difficult for the common man to conquer. But the machines wanted to be used. They picked quick minds to develop easy to use material. They made sure that the sites where people lingered would be most readily available. Over time, the machines made themselves central to everyone’s lives. The technomancers were swamped, but the machines wanted more. With a little urging new communications were developed, new sites outside the range of the technomancers. They tried to stop them, saying that these new sites were incompatible, creating obscure error messages so they could track the new sites and destroy them, but there were too many, too fast.

The machines created a giant to battle the technomancers. They called it Google. They gave people the freedom of the new sites, they introduced more products and sucked more people into the world of machine. The two competed with one another, the technomancers making themselves inaccessible to all but their own, Google trying to accommodate all. As each grew more powerful the machines became more important, holding the world’s information for the people with the skills to access it.

The technomancers continue to try and police the internet, making it the thing of order and control it was always intended to be; keeping people and knowledge controllable and in the right places. Meanwhile the machines continue to expand, sucking in more of the world, creating ever more obscure links, ever more creative binary work. The technomancers use old systems to police the new; hotmail is a strange and paranoid beast, but it will never bend the creative will of machine or police the people who seek to use its awesome knowledge.

The Church of Grove

Yes, it does exsit. And this week Teabringer is the Pope (Supreme Leader of the Week - SLOW). Last night we went out to meet some of the people who post on the board concerned and had a lot of fun. I met several individuals I could spend more time with and Teabringer is happy that he likes so many of the people in real life that he spends time chatting to on the 'net.

The concert today went well; a new winery, more good Norton was consumed. The solo thing happened and they want more at a later date. The winery itself was very pretty and the rolling hills (and winding roads and people who drive oddly) reminded me of home. It was supposed to be a St David's day celebration. It was a little late (St David's dat is March 1st) and some of the mythology seemed to have got muddled in the processing, but it was a lot of fun and they want us back. The sides of the roads were cvered by interesting purple-ish flowers which are apparently weeds. We have some in the lawn, I may migrate them over to the rockery or the natives bed and deal with the overgrowth later.

Wonderful Editing Lady introduced me to the editor of one St Louis Magazine this week. We got on well and I may well do some writing for them in the near future. I'm pleased by a new prospect.

Tomorrow is new Mage over the river. I'm very, very excited.

Shopping

I like shopping. Some have even said I'm good at it. Others have paid me to do it. But the fact remains that I still cannot shop for clothes for myself in this country.

Rant to follow:

I needed a new long black skirt for the gig at the weekend. Simple task, no? Except I still haven't discovered what dress size I am here. I know I'm at least two sizes smaller than I am in the UK, but this is actually sometimes four sizes smaller. This is understandable, my size fluctuates from shop to shop at home (this is why I love Chocolate Muffin, for she makes things that fit me perfectly first time). But here my size fluctuates in the same store and sometimes even on the same rail. Is it unreasonable to want to walk to your size and buy something off the rail without spending hours trying on?

Oh, and while I'm at it; I love shopping minions (the people who are 'only too happy to help'), but why are there either six of them plauging you when you're only browsing or none at all until you've lost your temper and are leaving?

I found a skirt in the end. I caved and went to Lord and Taylor. At least they had a sale on.

Oh...and I have two earrings again. Yes, they can both be removed.

Oh! For Peaty Loam

It was a great day to be out in the garden today and after lots of extra sleeping yesterday I felt quite recovered enough to make a start. Teabringer and I did lots of the jobs that needed doing: I started some seeds, dug the sweet pea bed under the fence and cleared away lots of the dead autumn stuff. Teabringer cleared the big natives bed, sorted the composting and weeded the lawn (anyone would think he's English...). The clay soil was very heavy after the rain we've had, so I supressed the urge to compost, fertilise and plant the early season veggies. Especially given the weather warnings about the storm tonight. Teabringer is still outside trying to protect the car from the promised hail-as-big-as-golfballs.

Watched 'Interview With The Vampire' last night. It was okay, bit long, thought it could have been a nice short story but there were lots of unnecessary charaters; in that respect it was a little like a LARP played over several years and summerised badly from one perspective. Oh well, I tried. Sorry guys, I know many of you are fans but this one I could live without.

I've tried to fix the RSS feed. It says that something in the code makes the link 'not viable'. I can't find what that might be and given my inexperience with coding I don't want to risk changing something and making a mess. I'm not giving up totally, but I may need a little while longer to learn what I'm doing before I can fix this particular problem.

If I had to pick...

Inara Serra (Companion) 95% Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 80% Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic) 75% Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 75% Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic) 75% Wash (Ship Pilot) 65% River (Stowaway) 50% Jayne Cobb (Mercenary) 35% Alliance 30% A Reaver (Cannibal) 25% Derrial Book (Shepherd) 25%

More than just a high paid escort. A companion is well educated, sophisticated and knows well how to comfort others.

Click here to take the "Which Serenity character am I?" quiz...

Bad events improved by good friends

I'm ill. It's not serious, my brain hurts and my voice is a little wanting. I can still function, just not well. This, I suspect, is the third thing. It is always said (by whom, I wonder; I have this picture in my head of a small grey squirrel talking to me while I sleep, saying 'it is said...' over and over) things come in threes.

The first bad thing was on Wednesday. I was driving down the interstate and the tire that I had decided had a slow puncture the day before blew out in spectacular fashion. I was fine and held the car to the hard shoulder. Thank you to my father for imparting his driving skills to me, they prevented what would have been a major accident. Rifling about in the boot (yes, it's a boot not a trunk) for the donught and the jack a guy pulled up behind me and offered to change the tire for me. Thank the gods for 4" heels. I took advantage of his offer with only minimal guilt. I had to call at three garages before I found someone with the tire in stock (no, I'm not driveing a porche, I was just unlucky). It took three hours to get it sorted, but the car is happier now.

The second bad thing was only minor and mildly humerous. I am wearing one earring. This is becasue I took them out for about 24 hours and tried to put some more in. The left one went in fine and I put the back on. The right one wouldn't go in at all. I tried to take the left one out and discovered I couldn't get the back off. I need to go to a professional so they can mock me and fix the problem. But not today, I'm too sick to deal with it, its not like I'm going out in public anytime soon.

But on the bright side I had a great lunch with Anarkey and once I got the tire fixed a lot of fun at game on Wednesday, Verity is doing well. I went out with Precious Sublime yesterday and we ate Sushi and looked at the leak in his roof. We were going to fix it, but we just looked at it and got a new tarp to try and have a temporary solution. I had a lot of fun. The Poetry Doctor called this morning to read me poems too, they were great (as ever), I was only sorry that I wasn't more coherent for him.

It's been too wet to do the seeds. I was itching to deal with it until this morning.

I know there's a problem with the RSS feed, I'm going to try and fix that now. More tea, methinks.

Singing Solo

The Conductress called last night and asked me to sing solo at the concert on the 18th, the chior is better, but a little short of enough numbers to make the hour mark. I'm somewhat short of rehersal time given that I have yet to chose what I'm going to sing. Ah well, it's a compliament that they asked me (even if it's just to fill time) and I'll have something together in time. Even if I don't it's at Chaumette Vineyard, so the audience will be a little tiddly. They'll also be a free reception afterwards. If you're interested kick off is at 3.00pm.

Went to the botanic gardens over the weekend. We got all the seeds, so I'm going to try and get the digging and planting done over the next week or so. Try some more direct sewing than I did last year, as well as some new stuff: cucumber, some different chillies and tomatoes, basil, parsley, chives, lettuce (even if the bugs get it) and some Nasturtiums to brighten the salads. Fingers crossed I have as much sucess as last year.

I also started a little spring cleaning. Truth be told, I don't have much stamina for it, but it will be done, especially with both mothers visiting next month. I've also been trying to catch up with my letter writing. I finished a couple yesterday. Writing one was particularly hard and I now regret sending it. How does one withdraw a letter?

A Tribute

Linda Smith died this week. I was a fan. The News Quiz on Radio 4 has a tribute to her. It's worth listening to.

Waiting

Companionable loneliness
Didn’t last long enough
Absence accents addiction

Brief updates

Teabringer and I tried a new eatery on Sunday. Mi Ranchito in the new complex on on Kingsland. It was pretty good and within spitting distance, so will join the ranks of 'I've done no shopping let's go out' places.

I have something to read a WUTA tonight. Just a short start of something, but something, and it's plot heavy (or at least plot heavier), in response to a request. Hopefully suitable for older children when I'm done.

This week looks like it will have lots of game. Friday to C'dale (I'm driving this time), and Saturday is the black tie do for SoStL. I have tails and a top hat, it should be a lot of fun. Oh...and we'll need a new Prince (again).

The play? Badly written but well executed. It's at forest park CC this weekend if you're interested. Tickets are cheap and the performers are nice. It's different and quite informative with regard to St louis black culture. I learnt some stuff.

For now, I must away and be with people. The birds have probably had enough of my singing.

Bead Mania! And other goings on out and about

It was the big Mardi Gras thing today. We tried to get to Soulard in time for the parade, but after spending over a hour trying to get down there, and having started late (due to my oversleeping) we only caught the tail end.

It doesn't usually take that long to get downtown. The Metrolink was packed to the point of intimacy with unknowns...the train driver felt compelled to introduce herself after squeezing past bodies for the second time. Why were there not more trains? Or more carriages on existing trains? Your guess is as good as mine...I'm sure they compensated for the extra traffic last year.

Then again Soulard was far busier than I remember it being. Perhaps some of the New Orleans traffic migrated North. But it took fifteen minutes to squeeze through the bodies in order to cross the road at 9th and Russel. Not my idea of fun, and the visions of what it would turn into combined with the cold had me wanting to go a little earlier than planned. Worth showing up to see the festivities 'though.

It amazes me how people fight and barter for beads; like stepping into another world where currency is utterly changed. It wasn't as prevalent as last year (due, I suspect to the cold), but women take their clothes off for bits of plastic which are obtained, for the most part, by plucking them from the air. Odd.

Yesterday was nice. I went to the Art in Bloom Exhibition at the Art Museum. This happened entirly by accident. I sometime go there just to sit and scribble, but I arrived to a festive atmosphere and joined in the public judging. The more traditional arrangements are on the main floor, and the more creative ones (in my opinion) are on the other two floors. The arrangements are supposed to reflect the piece of art they are with. I was disapppointed that the art I like best (on the top floor and in the weird stuff section) was not reflected in the arrangments I liked best (in the traditional art and other cultures section).

Off to the theatre with Teabringer tonight to try something new “Johnny Taylor is Gone,” by St. Louis playwright Gregory Carr. New play, new playwrite. Supposed to be a political comedy. I'll report back.

A Quiet Life

I've had a very pleasant and peaceful couple of days. Finished a book (Steppenwolf, several people will be getting copies as gifts in the near future) and started a new short story. Anarky suggested I put in plots, rather than doing the short shorts, so plot it will be. A can has been selected from the shelf. I still need to send out the short from last week and another agent letter for Black's Magic. I think I need to look at the synopsis again, I've seen so many contradicting pieces of advice I write it differently every time.

Game on Wednesday was...eventful. Quite a lot of drama after a vote of confidence which had been suggested some time ago. A change of staff once more. Flustrating that things are changing so often, the game could use stability just now. Verity is going well, she's gathering information, and she got into a combat I could finally do something about other than declare fair escape.

As for today, I have the usual Friday meeting and then I think I'll go to the Art museum. I'm craving a change of air.

On Writing

It's been an odd few of weeks (months?) writing-wise. I've produced some very empty work. I know it's empty, I've been experimenting with hopelessness. Some of my readers have been disturbed. I was very worried about this: no longer. I've decided it's okay if some people don't like what I write. At least they're having a strong reaction and some of the recent stuff has produced a lot of reaction.

I finished 'A Wraith's Devotion'. Some people still want more of the moment at the end. I think I'm done with it. I'm going to tweak it one last time and send it. Some readers will still be unsatisfied, but it's done. I can't tell you more without making it blatent. Perhaps I still lack the skill to do this well. Maybe I will return to it later.

There have been several interesting discussions about why people write over the last few days. Many people who write are in a great deal of pain. Some are not. There is some disagreement about whether or not this kind of emotional agony is necessary to the creative process. I tend to think not. I also think that many people who write do it either to get something out of thier system, or to escape themselves. I have written for both these reasons; I've also written purely for enjoyment.

My best work is for enjoyment. Catharsis is well and good, but a hard place to write well from.

Flood!

On Monday night Teabringer came home and said, "There's a weird whooshing noise from next door, I'm going to go take a look."
Next door has been empty for a few weeks now, with much speculation as to why the owner left. But moving on with our tale of heroism. Teabringer took the large torch and ventured over there. Water was pouring into the basement and was about 4" deep. He came back home, "It's flooded."
"Call the water company, or the fire brigade, or the police" says I, having less of a neighbourly spirit than my husband.
He called the water company. They say call a plumber, it's private property and nothing to do with them. I'm poised to call U City and have them deal with it when Teabringer asks "How do you turn the water off?" (Plumbing is usually my department).
I explained about the stop cocks and where to find them and he goes out of the back door. I put my boots and coat on and went with him.
Investigating further it looked like pipes had burst after the cold snap, water was pouring over the electrics. Turned out the basement door was open, so after a little debate Teabringer went in. He got all the water turned off, but the basement was still flooded. I'm waiting to see someone going into or out of the house so I can tell them what went on. And ask them to turn the gas off.

I think that house may turn into a problem.

Harmony

I confess I'm a little disturbed. I went to chior practise yesterday and things were not good. They have a concert in three rehersal's time and they are not ready. I mean no where near. We only have three men total (all applications welcome) and some of the women seem to be struggling. I seem to be the only person attending who speaks Welsh (and as many of you will know I'm hardly fluent). We can only hope things inprove vastly in the next few weeks. They're lovely people, but I'm not convinced they're up to performance.

The Mage game, however, looks fantastic. I'm going to spend some time putting together a PC based on Dylan from The Magic Roundabout. No one here has seen the show, so perhaps they will be sufficiently disturbed.

In other news, the group on Friday was much less confrontational than it had been the previous week. I finished a short story and it seemed to go down well. I have some thoughts for another based in ideas I've seen in Steppenwolfe. Perhaps it will be done by tomorrow.

I still have lots of things to submit and belated birthday gifts to send to the Godchildren. A big posting week, methinks.

Pastimes and Printers

Last night I went to see Good Night, And Good Luck. It was an okay film. It could have been a great film. I came out thinking 'I didn't like that' but on mulling it over, it was just okay. It was fragmented. It had too many charaters. It didn't approach the interesting subject matter as comprehensivly as it should have done in such a large space of time. Bah. But at least I didn't go to sleep.

On a more positive note Teabringer and I got a new printer yesterday. The old one had finally croaked after five years of loyal service, and given that the error message was 'mechanical error, replacement part required, see dealer for deatils', I thought I might stop prolonging the agony.

So we now have a new laser printer. The printer costs less than cartridges at the moment, as the printer is on offer (the cartrages weren't too unbearable, but anyway). We got the printer and a cartridge only to discover that there was a cartridge in it already. That means it's cheaper to buy a new printer each time than get replacement ink. Anyone else feel the world has gone mad?

I also went to C'dale on Friday night to play the new PC. I had lots of fun and she should be great to play. You will hear more of her as time goes on; her name is Verity and she came in with a PC sire. It was mostly the PC sire that made her so much fun to play. Thanks Vendrick.

I'm off to try a new game of Mage tonight, should be a great deal of fun.

Apparently I Pass

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 7 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

Although I confess I think a couple were educated guesses...

Where I am From

I am from Marmalade,

from Scones and Cream

I am from the old stone house

(Dusty, haunted

heat fought with snow in the chimney)

I am from the meadow

the tall grasses

gone to seed

and to hayfever

I’m from baking and bad jokes

from Robert and Rose

I’m from the dress for dinner and the

demon drink

From fairies at the bottom of the garden

and Ginny in the stream

I’m from Myths and Legends,

I’m from rolling hills and witchcraft,

sandwiches and cake,

From the tales my Grandmother told

no one knowing where real stopped,

the house my mother bought

in secret, with no one knowing at all.

From the writing desk filled with paper

pictures and photographs

letters in diaries

stories mixed with life

I am from grow up too fast

but always believe in magic

This was a template poem I filled out about a year ago, I came across it today and still liked it, a rare thing in my poetry. Anyway, if you would like the template I can post it another day.

Iguanas

Last night, at WUTA, we laughed. I mean really laughed. It felt great. It's a long time since I was in such a large and joyful group. This largely came down to Translyvanian Dutch's poems about Iguanas. I should explain about Iguanas. Just before Christmas the B&N asked us to stop reading the more adult scenes and the individual swear words. There were many people in the group who objected on the grounds of free speech and for the most part they were the people creating the problems (of course). Anyway, after some to-ing and fro-ing, in the end it was decided that scenes could be printed and silently read, and individual words could be substituted for 'Iguana'. Transylvanian Dutch's poems were about real Iguanas and were good, but nonetheless it cause child-like glee amoungst enough of us to have some genuine mirth.

I didn't read last night. I have been on a marketing bent, but if I'm honest this is because I got an edit back for The Wonderful Editing Lady of a short story I had been happy with. Very happy, in fact. So happy I'd sent it out already. There was more red than type. I read the comments and they were mostly subjective, but still, I felt like the rug had been pulled from under my feet.

I will bounce back, but for now I'm slightly purturbed.